Today's just one of those day's were I find something creative for me to do. Rather, it's something simple as reading a book, or a magazine, twitter, you tube, blogging.. def something that'll keep me busy.. and NOT just sleeping and eating all day which ONLY makes me even lazier than I already am. I'm NOT enrolled into school this semester.. <-- & even thou it's something I don't agree w .. I've accepted the fact that I will be pretty soon.. & that it's NEVER too late. As far as my Job, I'm waiting for the date of the next training class so that at least if i'm NOT in school I have a JOB "something's better than Nothing." Right? LOL. Yes! I agree my life SUCKS, it's SO boring NOT having anything to do.. "THIS IS NOT LIVING ppl." it's more like torture.
Honestly it's NOT as bad as it sounds.. I've only been out of work 2months and during that time I can def say it's been really positive for me.. My relationship w GOD has allowed me to become a lot more closer to him and finally accept thing that I can't change. I've really been able to weigh out the things that aren't SO good for me, from the thing that are. Ppl and places I used to GO, just everything has began to make a lot of more sense to me, and I mentioned before that I am working on being more open w myself ..I don't mind sharing certain things that goes on In my life. I don't mind. It's OK! Then again it's NOT. All depend how you go about sharing it (Facebook, and Twitter* def, NOT the place for it. Actually, it's the WORST way and the BEST way to keep everybody In your business. Don't you agree? NOT everyone's intentions are GOOD and I'll agree that you have to be careful and more mindful of what you feel you're comfortable sharing. Myself, I try to reach out and relate to at least somebody BC I mean it's always somebody out there facing your same challenges, looking for a better outcome just as you are. However, just as I'm trying to be more open w expressing myself, you have to be wise enough NOT look and criticize me on my placement in life, what I'm doing and how I'm doing it ...and the list goes on, "Don't Judge Me" It's life. Choose Yours, I'll deal w mine. Simple*
Throughout the time I been out of work I've become a lot more appreciative of thing's that matters to me. I've always said I'd like to become more open w GOD, knowing what's it like to have him apart of my life feeling the JOY of getting to know him on a much more personal level. It's something's I share w him that I don't share with anyone else. I'm def seeking ways on how to improve our relationship, NOT just when thing's are bad. " all the time" it's SO easy for us to get caught up with school, work, relationships, easy for us to get caught up with life that we forget to give thank's to GOD and show our appreciation. I'll admit my job has it to where I can choose my own schedule.. so sometimes I'm too caught up with working that i'll bypass what means most.. GOD comes 1st in everything. *God, Family, Church Job, Recreation* We deal with priorities In our lives In different ways. And with the demand of life, it's hard to keep GOD first. There is always some emergency or some demand pulling at us. We must find ways to stay strong in our relationship with God.
What does it take?
There is no replacement for time with Him in worship, prayer, and Bible study. So I pray and ask GOD to please guide me into living a more balanced life, that'll allow me to do just that. *We all could use having a little more faith.* Have FAITH. Trust your instincts. Cut out all the false hopes and expectations that'll only get you NOWHERE. Believe in yourself and trust that God is a good God, and "God's For Sure." RELATIONSHIPS ladies let's be more careful w choosing who to settle with, BC some fall into that bad category of NOT meaning you know good. Ladies, If you're like me you'd know that growing up without a father made thing's a lot more complicating for us finding the right guy whose RIGHT for you. It's been extremely hard having to find out throu trial and error, instead of being lead by example (Mother, Father) I wish my dad was around more as a child. My dad left home when I was 2 years old, SO I never knew him. My mother made me believe that my dad abandoned my family and me, he didn't love us or else he'd be here, I believed that. And it's a lot of people like me growing up in a single parent household, " I'm NOT alone." Unfortunately, those were the crowds I hung with people who I thought were like me BC we shared the same background. Who was I then? I had NO clue. Well, that's until I met the first guy to ever say he loved me. Of course, being a little girl at heart seeking the love of my father I believed him falling for it. I had NO clue I was young so I was entitled to bump my head a few times until I was able to learn from what I was dealing with. Honestly, thinking that was what REAL love felt like. I gained a lot of knowledge with him, and even though I ended up with my heart broken, God's taught me to Forgive, and Never Forget it's OK swtie to Move ON to something more worth your value.
"Get out those feeling's Layde'* if its meant to be it'll be, If NOT he wasn't suitable for you anyway." Mr. Right is out there waiting for you somewhere out there.. be patient.
Layde' ..
You can't let those thing's destroy who you are, if you do It will. You must know what's BEST for you, and what's NOT. My social life has always been my biggest down fall. I try to be mindful of each of my friends.. knowing which category they each fall into. Remember: NOT everyone's intentions are good. Learning from trail and error has really made me become more aware of my surroundings, more so how well to protect myself. Being from where I'm from everyone pretty much on the same level as everyone else trying to fit in, stead of standing out. It's like everybody's focused on everybody else. It's Ridiculous! I def try to stay on my toes, and NOT get caught up in this environment.
"I just hope to stay holy, focused and sanctified."
Sincerely,
Layde'
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