Foreign Films I've watched & Loved

9 Sexually Responsible Behaviors

Why?

be concerned about Sexually Responsible Behaviors?  

Because:

*It's what you want to do.

*It protects ppl you care about.

* You get benefits, too!  

What do I get?

Affirm your values. if you're like most ppl, you want to be respected and treat others with respect. 

Worry less. when you choose SRB's you lower all kinds of risks-- like offending someone you meant to impress, getting an STD, of having your own heart shredded and dragged throu the mud.

Have more fun. Romance, sex, and life in general are a lot more fun if you aren't worrying all the time, or getting drawn into high dramas, or finding out people are angry with you.

Impress others. It's true. Peers will look up to you. Partners will admire you. And you'll feel better about yourself. 

1. 

Stay Informed.

You already know a lot, but there's more out there. Keep up-to date on birth control, condoms, STD, social issues, legal issues.|*check out websites. Read articles. Be a aware of accurate information. 

"Check it Out."

2. 

Think. 

Make informed decisions ahead of time. Set some goals.

*What do you want to be doing Next week? Next year? Next decade? 

* How would a pregnancy, an STD, a break-up or a new romance affect your plans?

* Is a sexual relationship the right thing for you right now ?

*What kind of STD protection and birth control makes sense?  

"Make informed decisions ahead of time."

3.

Get to know the relationship between your brain and your body.

Powerful sexual desire wakes up the part of your brain where your inner party animal lives. It's shouting, "Yes! Now! More!

That's why you need to plan ahead to stay in touch with the thinking part of your brain that's carrying your convictions (and maybe bring those condoms, too). 

"Stay in touch with the thinking part of your brain."

4.

Communicate with your partner.

What are your partner's plans and dreams? what does he|she want this moment? tomorrow? in the coming year? if sex is going to be apart of your relationship, be sure to have that conversation about STD and pregnancy prevention before things start.

(Hint: A thoughtful conversation in a non sexual situation is ideal. But you can do it really quickly if you need to.. "I'm pulling a condom out of my wallet right now so we can use it, so we can use it this instant, Kay?")

"Have that conversation about STD and pregnancy prevention."

5.

Get friendly with condoms.

This is one of the most important SRB's. Get your hands on  some of those latex products and practice, practice, practice, before you have sex! 

Blow them up, fill the with water, unroll them onto something. Get a good feel for how the thing's handle. Then you'll be ready when the real thing comes along.

"Practice, practice, practice." 

6.

Learn the difference between "yes" and "NO."

If you hear "no," stop. If you hear "maybe," stop. If you hear nothing, stop and check it out. Make sure any yes is absolute and certain. Learn the communicate clearly with too-- with your voice, your look your attitude, and your behaviors.

"If you hear "no," stop. Make sure any "yes" is absolute."

7.

Chill on the mind-altering substances.

Drug and alcohol (including beer) mess with your mind, weaken your resolve, and make it harder to use a condom. That's a bad combination is a romantic situation.

"drugs mess with your mind." 

8.

Be creative. 

There are lots of ways to experience sexuality besides having sex. Romance, intimacy and fabulous physical feelings can be achieved in many other ways that don't put people at risk for STD or pregnancy.

Expand your notion of what sex is. Foot massage? Eating strawberries dipped in chocolate? You get the idea?

"Expand your notion of what sex is." 

9.

Stay healthy, be happy.

Sex works better when you're fit, happy, and not too tired. Hey, so does making  responsible decisions and following through! Pay attentions to your mind, heart and body, and enjoy every minute you can. 

"enjoy every minute you can."

Isn't it great to know:

*You're living by the values that matter to you.

*You're setting a good example for your friends. (you really do influence them--that's a research--proven fact.)

*You're taking the best steps possible to protect yourself, your partner and your future. 

Keeping a Record.

08|2008
01|2009
12|2010
11|2011

Get Tested.

November 28, 2011

"what you don't know, could eventually hurt you."

OMG!

Isn't she precious?"

Video: The Color Of Beauty

I was browsing on hot French blog Paris Most Wanted when I stumbled upon this video called,

 “The Color of Beauty.”

It's about the struggle of black model Renee Thompson as she tries and fails to get cast at fashion week. She encounters the typical struggles, designers not wanting to cast models of color and casting agents saying black models won’t sell products.  pssh. The video also goes into the history of women of color in fashion and even references Vogue Italia’s celebrated Black Issue. The conclusion? One photographer summed it up nicely saying, “Fashion has been stuck in 1955, and I don’t know what it’s going to take to move forward." Take a look:

I admire Renee’s drive, and am a total subscriber to the belief, “If you can envision it, you can do it.” I hope to be seeing more of her.

What do you think?

9 Bad Skin Habits that stand between YOU and Great Skin.

We are all guilty of them. Sometimes we even do them w|out knwing. But these nine habits are ones that can stand between you & having great skin.

1.Touching Your Face

2. Wearing Oil Based Moisturizer & Toners

3. Sleeping In Makeup

4. Using Greasy Pomades & Hair Sprays

5. NOT drinking enough water

6. Lack of Vegetables and Fruits 
7. Stress
8. Skipping Sunblock (* Moisturizer) 
9. NOT seeking Professional advice

Are you guilty of these?

Beyonce's Party Video:

Beyonce’s video for Party has finally hit YouTube! What did you think?

In the fun short clip, she wears coats by Louis Vuitton, outfits by Givenchy, vintage Nicole Miller sequins, and lots of cool yet sultry racerback tops and monokinis with cut outs.

Check It Out:

What you think?

 didn’t do a full breakdown, but was able to identify a few things,  just for fun.

Check It Out.

Wildfox Couture Summer Ice Cream Baggy Boy Tank (available in blue), $51.

Topshop Moto Flag Printed Hotpants, $70.

 Modified Rodarte Hand Beaded Booties.

Modified Louis Vuitton Fall 2011

 Christian Dior Spring/Summer 2011 Tahiti Pumps, $1,550.

Custom Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci Fall 2011

Crux NY Haji Earrings, $70.

Louis Vuitton Spring 2011 runway (on Kelly).

Those are just a few items. If you want us to find more, leave a comment.

But in the meantime, what do you think of the video?

"My Growing Back Natural Journey"

 BIG CHOP!
05.24.2010

I decided to do my big chop on 05.24.2010. I had thought about it months before but never fell through with it. I had know Idea 05.24 would finally be the day. Up until then I was still transitioning my hair by getting sew-in's.. forgetting about applying a perms that's all I would do to it. I would be on youtube all day every chance I'd get researching and seeking help from other's about "growing back Natural." I guess you could say I was serious this time, of course there were folks telling me I wasn't gonna do it, and that i'd look weird. I didn't let those people affect me and my decision BC by then my mind was already made up to worry with the negatives. Those who know, know I've always worn my hair short styled. I first started wearing my hair short 9th grade BC my mom thou I should try something new, besides my hair had became very damaged from putting it up into pony-tails and flat ironing it more often than so. We figured by it being short it'd be a lot easier to manage. True. But after all I'd notice how perms were affecting my hair growth. Perms made my hair VERY thin, and still today does. My hair starts to shed easier when it's permed and very DRY as if nothing I do, no matter how well I maintain the moisture of my hair it's always dry, and well I couldn't take the affect perms was giving me much longer. I decided 4 mnths before my "Big Chop" I wasn't gonna apply anymore perms. And I finally had did it. "I LOVED IT." and I rocked it.. I took ton's a photos (below) and wore many accessories to help pull off my TWA (teeny weeny Afro) I used you tube and Facebook to publish my new look.. that way I was able to reach out the other Naturals. I spoke with tons of other young ladies who either considered growing natural ..or was. It really helped me out a bunch. BC at first until my hair growth was more visible I faced different challenges with  who I was inside. I work at a call center and I was being noticed even more rocking the TWA than any other style I tried. Of course people's views are different.. I was called weird, different.. OMG I hated for people to question me on WHY I did such a thing to myself as if I destroyed my image or something. My mom's and brother even talked me into applying a texturizer in my hair, believing that it'd define my texture a little more. It did. But my hair was never the same afterwards.. I was applying the texturizers more frequently than I should have.. had I followed instructions carefully I'd still be Natural today.. 1 year 6 mnths approximately. I would hide my hair underneath head scarfs, hats and even wigs. NEVER weaves.. until after 8 mnths. Sometimes I'd stare off into my bathroom mirror, waiting to see some growth over night or something. "it was deep." it was almost like I could see my whole soul in the mirror. I appeared a lot more different in the morning than I normally would. Behind the scenes my veiw of myself def changed... "NO MATTER how I felt at home in my mirror I made sure by the time I walked out my front door I lifted my head UP and face another day." it was hard on me someday s getting people to accept my new look, esp my family and so-called friends who seemed to have criticized me the most. Of course they eventually became to love it, but what about when I need all the encouragement the most? Now My moms Natural so is everyone else... and so are some of the view's that seemed SO bad then, now. -Anywho, I thought it would be lovely to include my "Growing Back Natural hair Journey" In my blog. Hope you guys like the few photo's I included as well.. also below is a link from one of the groups from Facebook, that includes myself and other Naturals.

http://www.facebook.com/groups/162272373793157/ 

"06.24.2010  -marked 1Mnth Natural."

08.06.2010 -marked 2mnth's Natural."

 btw,  Layde's I mentioned above the before and after affects the texturizer gave my hair between 1-2 mnth's.

Notice the difference?

 "08.24.10 -marked 3mnth's Natural."

 "4mnths Natural."

"6mnths with a flat iron."

 "7mnths Natural ."

05.24.2012 I'll be once again "Growing Back Natural." I can't wait.

Share with me the pro's and con's of your "Growing Back Natural" journey. 

-Are You Natural?  -Did you do your Big Chop?

Angela Simmons Explain Her Hair Regimen

A few weeks ago Angela Simmons tweeted a picture of her hair sans weave. It got me interested in her hair regimen, so here's what I found:

How long do you keep the weaves in at a time?

A: Not that long because I change my hair so much. So, probably a month at the most. But I’m the girl who changes my hair a lot, so.

What are your tips for maintaining your hair, because it looks really healthy and really thick.

A: I just keep it braided up alot. For the most part I stay in the hair salon alot and get my hair done alot so I kind of lean on my hairdressers for that. So for the most part, when I go, I do deep conditioners and sit under a dryer or steamer.

But I did something bad not too long ago. My front got all messed up. I had a blonde weave, you know I had that moment where I wanted to go blonde. And I bleached some of my hair and it broke off and that was a bad idea.

So I don’t suggest that anyone bleach their hair. Overall my hair’s pretty healthy it’s just the front’s a little messed up so I've been doing whatever I can. Oh, and I do suggest Moroccan oil. It’s amazing.

Why did you decide to stop perming your hair?

A: I just figured that I didn't really need it. And I did notice that my hair was way thicker without the perm and it just seemed healthier without it and I just didn't want to put any more chemicals in it. So I just left it alone. I’ve been natural for like 3 years. When I get weaves in I just sew it up and leave it alone.

Would you ever consider having it huge and natural out in public?

A: You mean without flat-ironing it? No. [Weaves are] easier for me. I work out a lot and I travel a lot. So to have my own hair out is a hassle for me. So I don’t do it.

Two Steps To Effectively Moisturize Your Hair

The real key to having moisturized hair is to prevent added water from evaporating. To successfully manage hair moisture, you need to…

1. Repair damage to your hair cuticle

Why : The hair cuticle is the key surface which protects the inner cortex of hair. Without it, water can flow freely into and out of hair. Cuticle damage is inevitable especially if your hair is relaxed, bleached or color treated. You can reduce damage by being gentle with your hair at all times and especially when combing and drying (even when towel drying).  However, all manipulation, washing and even exposure to the sun eventually affect the cuticle.

How: You can temporarily repair the cuticle and essentially patch it up by using hair conditioner. The effect lasts for one wash only, the next shampoo is designed to clean off hair and the conditoner effect goes with it.

The Science: Hair conditioner contains particles known as surfactants (which is geek speak for surface active agent). These surfactants (the agents) make their way to the hair cuticle (surface) and then stick on to the hair (the action!) and the best part of it is that the surfactants are naturally drawn to gaps in hair. Often conditioners will contain more than one surfactant. Common surfactants include behentrimonium chloride/methosulfate and stearalkonium chloride.

Use a good protein conditioner. A good protein conditioner will have hydrolyzed/hydrolized protein. This type of protein has been chopped up and can therefore fit nicely into small gaps in the hair. Some of it can even enter into hair and carry with it some water.

5Hair-do's I Liked For Winter,..

... theMakeup Bible.

Makeup By Layde'

-free writing ...

      Today's just one of those day's were I find something creative for me to do. Rather, it's something simple as reading a book, or a magazine, twitter, you tube, blogging.. def something that'll keep me busy.. and NOT just sleeping and eating all day which ONLY makes me even lazier than I already am. I'm NOT enrolled into school this semester.. <-- & even thou it's something I don't agree w .. I've accepted the fact that I will be pretty soon.. & that it's NEVER too late. As far as my Job, I'm waiting for the date of the next training class so that at least if i'm NOT in school I have a JOB "something's better than Nothing." Right? LOL. Yes! I agree my life SUCKS, it's SO boring NOT having anything to do.. "THIS IS NOT LIVING ppl." it's more like torture. 

   Honestly it's NOT as bad as it sounds.. I've only been out of work 2months and during that time I can def say it's been really positive for me.. My relationship w GOD has allowed me to become a lot more closer to him and finally accept thing that I can't change. I've really been able to weigh out the things that aren't SO good for me, from the thing that are.  Ppl and places I used to GO, just everything has began to make a lot of more sense to me, and I mentioned before that I am working on being more open w myself  ..I don't mind sharing certain things that goes on In my life. I don't mind. It's OK! Then again it's NOT.  All depend how you go about sharing it (Facebook, and Twitter* def, NOT the place for it. Actually, it's the WORST way and the BEST way to keep everybody In your business. Don't you agree? NOT everyone's intentions are GOOD and I'll agree that you have to be careful and more mindful of what you feel you're comfortable sharing.  Myself, I try to reach out and relate to at least somebody BC I mean it's always somebody out there facing your same challenges, looking for a better outcome just as you are. However, just as I'm trying to be more open w expressing myself, you have to be wise enough NOT look and criticize me on my placement in life, what I'm doing and how I'm doing it ...and the list goes on, "Don't Judge Me" It's life. Choose Yours, I'll deal w mine. Simple*

   Throughout the time I been out of work I've become a lot more appreciative of thing's that  matters to me. I've always said I'd like to become more open w GOD, knowing what's it like to have him apart of my life feeling the JOY of getting to know him on a much more personal level. It's something's I share w him that I don't share with anyone else. I'm def seeking ways on how to improve our relationship, NOT just when thing's are bad. " all the time"  it's SO easy for us to get caught up with school, work, relationships, easy for us to get caught up with life that we forget to give thank's to GOD and show our appreciation. I'll admit my job has it to where I can choose my own schedule.. so sometimes I'm too caught up with working that i'll bypass what means most.. GOD comes 1st in everything. *God, Family, Church Job, Recreation* We deal with priorities In our lives In different ways. And with the demand of life, it's hard to keep GOD first. There is always some emergency or some demand pulling at us. We must find ways to stay strong in our relationship with God.  

What does it take?  

     There is no replacement for time with Him in worship, prayer, and Bible study. So I pray and ask GOD to please guide me into living a more balanced life, that'll allow me to do just that. *We all could use having a little more faith.*  Have FAITH. Trust your instincts. Cut out all the false hopes and expectations that'll only get you NOWHERE. Believe in yourself and trust that God is a good God, and "God's For Sure." RELATIONSHIPS ladies let's be more careful w choosing who to settle with, BC some fall into that bad category of NOT meaning you know good. Ladies, If you're like me you'd know that growing up without a father made thing's a lot more complicating for us finding the right guy whose RIGHT for you. It's been extremely hard having to find out throu trial and error, instead of being lead by example (Mother, Father) I wish my dad was around more as a child. My dad left home when I was 2 years old, SO I never knew him. My mother made me believe that my dad abandoned my family and me, he didn't love us or else he'd be here, I believed that. And it's a lot of people like me growing up in a single parent household, " I'm NOT alone." Unfortunately, those were the crowds I hung with people who I thought were like me BC we shared the same background. Who was I then? I had NO clue. Well, that's until I met the first guy to ever say he loved me. Of course, being a little girl at heart seeking the love of my father I believed him falling for it. I had NO clue I was young so I was entitled to bump my head a few times until I was able to learn from what I was dealing with. Honestly, thinking that was what REAL love felt like. I gained a lot of knowledge with him, and even though I ended up with my heart broken, God's taught me to Forgive, and Never Forget it's OK swtie to Move ON to something more worth your value.

"Get out those feeling's Layde'* if its meant to be it'll be, If NOT he wasn't suitable for you anyway." Mr. Right is out there waiting for you somewhere out there.. be patient.

     
Layde' ..   

 You can't let those thing's destroy who you are, if you do It will. You must know what's BEST for you, and what's NOT.  My social life has always been my biggest down fall. I try to be mindful of each of my friends.. knowing which category they each fall into. Remember: NOT everyone's intentions are good.  Learning from trail and error has really made me become more aware of my surroundings, more so how well to protect myself. Being from where I'm from everyone pretty much on the same level as everyone else trying to fit in, stead of standing out. It's like everybody's focused on everybody else. It's Ridiculous! I def try to stay on my toes, and NOT get caught up in this environment. 

"I just hope to stay holy, focused and sanctified."  

Sincerely, 

Layde'